I thought I was done with my art project but it turns out the project wasn't done with me.
As I mentioned many times before I started a personal art project Ink Flower Garden in January 2014. with an intention of creating 1000 ink drawings and paintings, finding my own style as an artist and just learning about myself as a person in general. The project turned out to be a very intense journey that officially ended in December 2017. It was a very rewarding experience but nevertheless super intense one and that's probably why I can recall the exact moment I scanned the last 1000th image and saved it. It was December 13th, mid-afternoon and as I was saving the image I loudly declared "It is over, I am done."
Except it wasn't over and I wasn't done. I still felt inspired to keep on drawing and painting in same vein and kept on adding new images to my portfolio site, slowly finishing up several ongoing series I've been working on for years. This Spring, when I made a final image for Enter the Underworld series I was filled with so much relief and joy that it felt like the project must have been finished, like, this time for real. But, it wasn't.
There is (at least) one more series that needs to be worked on, At the Edge of a Galaxy. I started (officially) working on it in June 2016. and as the series begun to take shape I believed it was about planets and outer space being a metaphor for my relationships with men. You see, I use my paintings sort of like Rorschach inkblots, I allow myself to paint whatever I want, intuitively and then after a while come back to images wondering what do they mean. It's a bit like self-proscribed art therapy, I guess. But, yes, I thought I had At the Edge of a Galaxy series all figured out when, honestly I forced finished it last Autumn by "importing" a bunch of images from another series and calling it done. Why did I do that? Well, I wanted it to be done, I felt that my "edgy, galactic" series was getting kind of dark and I didn't really want to explore it further, I didn't want to feel uncomfortable or face emotional pain. But, the fear of emotional pain is much worse than experiencing acute emotional pain itself. As soon as you face emotional pain and realize what is causing it, it subsides and dissolves. So, few days ago I cleared out the galactic series by deporting some images back where they belong (Deep Sea/Deep Space series) and now I'm ready to see what's hiding in deep, dark depths of my psyche and paint it out to wrap up At the Edge of a Galaxy series as well as the entire project.
Before I even started the Ink Flower Garden project years ago I knew that I wanted it to function as a whole so I can either make it into an art book or something else that would suit the project and that's why it's important to me to have all the series be properly finished, to feel finished. They don't feel finished yet, but very, very soon they might. Let's hope so :)