Sometimes it is necessary to make a lot of bad art, intentionally and unapologetically because it is the one way to start making decent art.
This week I allowed myself to do just that, make a ton of really bad, expressive, messy, raw ink and charcoal textures because I was too restless to be working on my usual stuff. I took 25 sheets of A3 paper and then cut each sheet into four pieces and got 60 pages of 15x20cm paper. Then I dipped a bunch of paper tissues in colored drawing ink to make prints (yes, I know, what a fancy printing technique). I kept adding layer after layer of tissue imprints until I got tired of it. I also made sure I do it really fast not to begin thinking too much about it, start wondering why the hell I'm doing this when I should be making something more meaningful (but, hey it's fun and messy and sort of liberating to make bad art on purpose!). After my inked papers dried I drew some messy lines on top of them using charcoal just to add some contrast to colorful ink stains. Again I tried to do it super fast and really sloppily. Then I scanned my textures without protecting charcoal scribbles with spray so it got even messier and my filthy fingers left a lot of smudges on paper as well.
But, again I did it on purpose, I allowed myself to make every step of the process to be as sloppy, messy, dirty, bad, shitty as possible to let go of any pressure to create something good or meaningful and to liberate myself from pressure of making good art, serious art, important art. I allowed myself to be raw, to work fast and, by doing that, to silence my inner perfectionist that demands everything to be doing neatly and with meaning and purpose.
After scanning all of the textures I composed them into a short experimental video clip ( and added music by Alkaline Samurai).
The whole process took maybe 6 hours (making textures, scanning them and making the video) and even though I'm not too fond of the result those 6 hours were time well spent. Sometimes allowing myself to make something bad on purpose is necessary so I can release the pressure of having to produce "good art" and to stop taking myself too seriously but to remind myself making art ultimately should be a playful process. If I didn't cringe at a very thought of an overused term "inner child" I guess I'd say it's necessary for artists to let their inner child to play and be messy now and then. Although in my case. I think, it's not the inner child but more like an untamed, wild, slightly neurotic inner woman that needs fast paced play time, a very necessary outburst of raw creativity that borders on destructiveness but ultimately clears path for fresh, new, healthy creativity to emerge.